Trying. Striving. Struggling.
When we first start upon the path of any applied pursuit, be it self-cultivation, a skill or hobby like learning an instrument, there is no denying that effort is absolutely required.
Indeed, effort seems to be rewarded with what seems like progress. And the more effort we apply, the more effort we seem to make.
Imagine yourself learning to play a guitar.
At first, the fingers are barely able to hold the shape of a basic chord, and when the guitar is strummed there are more notes out of tune than in. (Flashbacks to my childhood when I was learning the viola – it was the sonic equivalent of strangling a cat.)
As we apply consistent effort over time, the body and mind begin to remember the rehearsed shapes, and strung together they become a chord pattern that can very easily become a song.
A song paves the way for mimicking others around the campfire, or perhaps self-expression if there is a feeling that needs to come out. Surely the struggles at the start of this (or any other) journey are worth the ultimate destination of deliverance (that moment you move or wow someone with your song?)
Perhaps effort, and more effort is all that is required to be a master?
Not all is as it seems.
There is a hidden cost of this effort.To make effort we need to understand which direction the effort is being made. We have to have an aiming point. A place of focus. A desired outcome.
This necessarily concentrates our energies and facilitates growth. When we get a little success – the song is played, or in yoga, a complex shape is made, we get what looks like ‘accomplishment.’
The problem is that during this struggle, like daily music practice, we can habituate ourselves into a mental mode of ‘practice.’ Always rehearsing. This quickly becomes ‘never good enough.’
I’ve spent the better part of my life striving or demanding perfection from myself. As a human, which is an organism literally full of shit, blood and half-digested food, perfection has yet to arrive. Despite my ‘efforts’ I’ve not felt like I mastered a single thing I tried (even though I got a ‘Masters’ degree in Architecture!)
I learned early on that effort brings progress, but no-one told me it would not sate the hungry beast within.
When applied to the path of Yoga, as I have learned, to hold onto effort can be incredibly destructive. This is contra to the entire bloody point of the path – Yoga is meant to arrive at moksha or freedom from suffering. But my effortful practice brought me no such freedom, only pain and agitation and disappointment.
The complexity, nuance and humour of life is, for me, evidence of an intelligent creator and creation. How sublime is it that we must begin a journey applying effort, but that we will then need to dispense with it before it traps us?
The old spiritual allegory of rowing a boat across a river and the necessity to get out once you reach the other shore comes to mind.
The hilarity is that should we continue to be addicted to our effort and results, we start back tracking and can wind up worse off than when we started.
In the Army, we called getting stuck on effort ‘target fixation.’
When you are staring at something that just might be trying to kill you, it can feel that focusing your attention is the single most important thing you could be doing. The body is in agreement. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline help you narrow down on a threat, but in doing so, the periphery is excluded to the point of disorientation.
Much of the training in the Special Forces was to maintain a sense of ‘situational awareness’ or ‘SA’ whilst in the heat of battle. This ‘SA’ enables a soldier to perceive where they are in relationship to the target, their team mates and the higher mission.
A musician who has this sense of SA is free to let go of an awareness on technique and is able to ‘feel’ something higher (or deeper) whilst playing. Artists able to live in that space are the ones who manifest the spirit through their art, and they are only able to do so through a cessation of effort. This introduces the element of Soul a la Jimi Hendrix.
A Yogin (one upon the path of Yoga) who clings to effort becomes driven and full of want and desire, which trap the aspirant in samsara (a realm of suffering defined by ‘the goal’ being in the future.)
For the highest realisation is that Moksha (freedom) can only be experienced in the present moment.
Now. Here. Now. Here
So what is the remedy? What can we take as an antidote? How to be the yogic equivalent of the courageous Soldier able to remain cool and calm under enemy fire, or to become the virtuoso musician who bleeds tears of ecstasy from their fans?
Make the effort. See the effort.
Then Surrender the effort.
Rinse and repeat.
Hatha Yoga leans upon asana and karana – bodily positionings often called ‘poses’ to give the awareness (Soul) something to be aware of as effort is made. We corrupt our structure and mind when we force the body into an imagined shape or the shape of another (eg the person next to you or the teacher,) and this is where injury and disease arise.Instead of becoming free, we have fuelled the ego.
But it need not be like this. As we practice with the feeling of Surrender, things change.
With each breath, we fill ourselves with the life force of prana, enabling us to be internally oriented towards something beyond. Internally, as we let we empty ourselves of breath, a release of prana occurs and an inner shape, like the blooming of a flower, emerges from within. A true guide can direct us where to place our energy, but they know not the inner shape you will take – that is between your Soul and God.
When the mind gets involved, (one of whose function is the ‘ahamkara’ or the ‘I’ maker known as ego) we cling to our effort and want. This blocks us from experiencing it’s counterpoint, Surrender.
If Surrender were another doing, it would be easy.
But it isn’t. It is an absence of effort, not the effort of absence. It is a non-doing. An allowing. A resting. Surrender is an experience that is not mental, not able to be understood and not able to be done for you.
For me, Surrender arises spontaneously when my mind is directed towards the supreme. This infers that you must have a notion of what God / the Absolute is. You can chose how you relate to it, or what you believe in, but without this belief, you will be stuck clinging to mind.
Mantra can be a useful aid in this path.
Mantra encodes vibration to point us towards what is beyond, but it can’t do the work for us. When done right, mantra and body become one, though this requires the knowledge of the Yogini Nyasa Vidhim, the science of the placement of sound through touch – a practice that locates the 51 letters of the sanskrit alphabet onto the body.
Over time, a properly oriented Yoga practice enhances the inner quality of Surrender, such that it becomes second nature. By contextualising our mental and physical efforts, and nesting them within a broader container of Surrender, we are able to have our cake, and eat it too.
We allow the mind to make it’s efforts through the body, but we build into our system a blow off or pressure release valve, such that when the symptoms of making too much effort arise (agitation, frustration, impatience, injury and disease) our mind-body system vents the excess pressure, restoring us to a natural state of peace.
My advice? Learn the Surrender bit first (in my experience, there is no better practice of Surrender than Himalayan Meditation.)
Surrender is first experienced by many in a morning ‘yoga practice’ but the goal should not be to Surrender in asana, or mentally Surrender in meditation, and then be an uptight prick for the rest of the day.
The real spiritual arena is called Life, and having mastered the art of Surrender in one’s own body and mind in the morning, Surrendering comes alive as we encounter the dozens of challenges every day.
With time, Life becomes a little bit easier.
A being who is well versed in the attitude of Surrender towards life, someone who has unburdened themselves from external want or desire, we call a Guru, a master or a guide worth following.
These great Souls are few and far between. Don’t be fooled by the outer form, many of these Saints come in the most un-Yogic looking of bodies and form! You won’t find them sitting in advanced asana, but tending to the needy and sick before them, uplifting Saint and Sinner alike.
They prove to us that this path of Yoga isn’t just wishful thinking, but a reality that can be embodied to the same extent by us mere mortals.
This week, I encourage you to explore the play between effort and Surrender.
If you practice Hatha Yoga, see what arises as you consciously fill the breath into the body, and where you are drawn when you release and empty yourself.
If you practice Himalayan Meditation (Samarpan Dhyanyog) watch the delicate mental dance of maintaining focus (top of your head), and letting it go.
And… let me know how you go!
If you have questions, responses or wish me to write to anything, I’d love to. Simply hit reply to this email and we will tackle your query for everyone’s benefit in the coming weeks.
May the grace of Surrender soften your week ahead.
Jai Atmeshwar (Victory to the Divine Soul)
David
