Monday Meditation Musings
“Surely life can be better than this?!”
I have seen my share of crushing lows.
There were days I simply didn’t want to go on…
What are the questions you ask yourself when you are in the depths of your suffering?
For me, the most hopeless is ‘why bother?’
I’ve always been the existential angsty type… but it was a period of prolonged difficulty where I felt life was ganging up on me; a relationship breakdown, work issues and a health challenge all struck at once.
Paradoxically though, hidden inside the despair, was a silver lining of hope (that I was blind to.)
When I was at my worst, I wish someone pointed this glimmer of positivity out to me (not that I would have necessarily listened!)
Let me share with you how asking for help is 99% of the battle of getting better…
The moment we recognise that we are suffering, and begin to ask to be free, we are unconsciously telling ourselves that help is possible – and we want it to come.
In other words, we are saying to ourselves “I believe that I can be helped.”
Don’t underestimate this…
As humans, we typically don’t ask for things that aren’t possible (or else this fills our mind and heart with contradictions which we don’t like.)
Even a silly wish to win the lotto means that we accept that someone will win (even if we know it is unlikely for us.)
Similarly, asking for love means that we believe love is possible.
In the state of true despair, I formed the belief that nothing could help me.
This is the feeling of hopelessness and it certainly doesn’t inspire ‘peak performance.’
It has been a few years since then, but I now see that even though helplessness feels real, in truth it is a con – a lie.
I now believe that no matter what we have been through, life can always get better.
How do I know this?
Well, let’s try the opposite on for size… can life get worse? Always…
Use your imagination for 2 seconds and you will see that no matter how bad your situation may become, you could think up about a hundred ways to pour salt in the wound… and make it worse.
This means that our current situation is not fixed. Life can change; for better or for worse.
When I was feeling helpless, I wasn’t opening emails or searching online for retreats that might help me; I was actively trying to numb myself from my pain (which ironically, made the pain much much worse.)
Rather than search for answers, I got self-destructive.
And I’m not alone.
In the course of doing what we do (running retreats that help people heal, grow and rediscover themselves,) we speak to a lot of people.
Most have become interested in what we are doing at the Ashram because life has been getting hard.
Others are at their wits end. Some are on the edge.
One of the first things that I do is to point out is that simply by connecting with us, there is much more to be happy about than they may imagine.
I share that in the process of looking for help, life is beginning to point in the right direction (and that is a cause for celebration!)
Why? Simply, it takes humility to ask for help.
And that virtue opens you to way more support than you knew ever existed.
If this is you right now, seriously you should be congratulating yourself for seeking support, as there are plenty of people yet to open to the idea of a better life.
On our retreats, we teach that after aiming at the right thing (a life of inner peace,) the next ingredient is persistence.
Showing up.
Keeping at it.
Left foot, right foot.
You just gotta keep marching.
Have you noticed that step 1 and step 1,000 are essentially the same.
Lift, move, place the foot, let go.
Rinse. repeat.
The hardest step is the first; but by the time you have a few days, weeks or months under your belt, walking becomes routine. Now we don’t even need to think about it.
Such is life on the path of Yoga.
Clunky at first. Easier with time.
After a life of resentment, you may think that “Forgiveness is hard.”
Eventually, with practice, it becomes instinct.
Awakening these simple, universal human values is what a traditional Yoga practice is all about.
If you focus too much on the physical cultivation – which is the trap of modern westernised yoga – you just become flexible. And that isn’t free.
Personally, I’d rather be stiff and inflexible but a good bloke… one who lives by compassionate human values, rather than a healthy, flexible jerk.
I’ll take Soul over Body, every single time.
Traditional Yogic practices shows you the areas of your life that are out of balance.
Instead of ignoring your suffering, they help you to see it with clarity.
This helps you move beyond it.
An example; you watch the mind surface a difficult thought from the past (where you were hurt.)
It feels like you are re-living the trauma from yesteryear. It leads to a spiral of depression where you armour your heart and run away.
Poor life choices follow (pick your poison of choice.) Then you feel worse and spiral down even further.
But it doesn’t have to be like this.
Imagine a future you with a daily meditation / traditional yoga practice. Here is how it can look;
Thanks to consistently showing up, you have more clarity on your mind.
One day you are triggered. You notice a difficult thought surface. Instead of running away, you witness it.
Just like you have practiced, you let it go.
You re-orient to a positive virtue (forgiveness over resentment, truth over falsehood) and then… you carry on.
Freedom is as simple as that.
The choice to let go.
Rather than big profound moments of bliss, Freedom is experienced in very small ways.
The ego wants there to be confetti and banners and celebration that you have overcome your suffering, but the Soul is way more humble.
It simply smiles in gratitude that what used to result in a week of depression, only took you a moment to overcome.
As Yogic practice turns to habit, we can feel a sense of momentum in our freedom.
This is nice. Like a train, we chug forward.
But what did it take us to get going?
I’m not going to lie, getting the train out of the station can take a bit more work than keeping it at speed.
So many people we chat to share that they are ‘stuck.’
Our job is to help them overcome their resistance, and get going.
Too often though, when it comes time to take the first step and make a decision (and actually start their practice or book a retreat), they decide they want to ‘think about it’ (ahem… procrastinate.)
6 months go by.
A year.
Delay. Delay. Delay.
The same pattern that was causing them to suffer (running from discomfort) now also blocks the help they are ready for (and that deep down, they actually want.)
Ironically, when we guide people into taking action, some complain. If we give them space to procrastinate, they still complain… but suffer way more.
Sometimes, they just ignore us (no hard feelings!)
This path of service requires that you grow thick skin (a learned skill for me.)
We know what we share works and believe we have a moral duty to share it.
We witness it transform lives.
So we keep at it.
In our heart of hearts we know that it may be the next email, newsletter or social media post that triggers someone into action – and this action is the place where the real magic happens.
Just like in meditation, persistence and patience are required, and we are thankful that it was our own meditation and yoga practice that helped us cultivate these virtues.
Without that daily support, we would have given up a long, long time ago – and we would be both worse off if that happened!
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If you know that it is time to double down on action, and are open to receive help, we would love to support your journey through life by sharing traditional Yogic practice with you on the Soul Retreat.
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We have one final spot for a male in a twin share room on our 13th to 17th September Retreat.
For those wanting a private room, or for women twin-share availability, 11th to 15th October is our next retreat (which is currently on special!)
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We pray that you have a beautiful, flowing week ahead, open to the help that you need to reach the life of your dreams.
Please reach out directly if you’d like to learn more – additional retreat dates can be found here.
